I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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