you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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