saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
