I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just forgot I was standing up.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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