my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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