my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
