And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize