Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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