I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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