that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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