I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
