Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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