you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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