If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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