Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
