i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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