So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
