I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
