I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
