nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i think my tv is drunk
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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