so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
