just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
