so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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