honey bunches of taint.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
ttyl tear gas
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
