Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
