I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬