haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen