Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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