i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
