my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
