when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
