We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
