Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize