i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
BRING THE BAGELS
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