i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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