did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
