My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
