Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???