Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck