she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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