you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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