i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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