She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
