I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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