Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
