its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You ruined the universe
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
