i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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