i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
