is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
