remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
