Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
