He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
