I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Someone signed my nipple.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
