All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Randomize
