OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
