We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
