He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
