If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I came so hard my ears popped.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
