Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
