I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
