Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
