I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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