i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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