This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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