Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
